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Meandering Thoughts


Love: My ability to read and feel other people’s emotions really gets me to question the nature of love.  Desire and love feel very different to me.  I guess that is obvious.  To be a bit more specific, desire is a top shelf emotion.  It always sits on the surface.  It doesn’t go any farther than that.  It feels short term, almost explosive.  It’s intensity matches anger, but there is a heat behind it that anger never has.  It also matches anger in it’s inability to travel very far through the surface.  It bubbles and stews there.

Love goes deeper into the human soul. The depth intensifies the feeling.  It is not explosive. It feels like I am following a steady stream through a person’s soul.  People’s love for their children feels me with so much warmth.  It glows from their souls and is different than any other thing I can feel.  It is like a ball of sunshine in my chest when I happen across it.  Crushes are tickling.  When someone has a new affection for someone, it feels like champagne bubbles in my chest.  Light and springy.  I do not logically know what makes a person go from initial feelings of “love” to the deeper, more meandering one that seems to evolve later, but I do know that each type radiates differently.  If I feel the love that a woman has for her husband or vice versa, it is never as clear or as light as the one for a child.  It’s heavier.  It is often complicated by other emotions.  The trail that love makes through a soul can have many accompanying guests.  It makes it hard to muddle through and feel it as clearly. 

Can anyone else do this?  Does anyone else know what I am talking about?  At this point, I have stopped doubting that I can do this, and I want desperately to know that there are others.  Can you get videos in your mind of things others have gone through?  What is this?  Where does this come from? 


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