Loving an Empath is not an easy feat. I have an obvious advantage when it comes to making people fall in love with me. It may sound manipulative, but it never feels that way. I am just really good at being what people expect me to be or want me to be. I maneuver around another person’s emotions like a sparing partner would move in hand to hand combat or a waltz. I think the hardest thing for a person to understand is when I stop. In every relationship, we get to the point where we truly become ourselves. When I refrain from being what that person expects (because I am either disinterested or tired), a problem occurs. They suddenly do not know what is happening.
Please don’t think that I am going around creating these false personas to lure in inspecting victims until I grow bored. It is not like that at all. I’ve been in a monogamous relationship for 17 years. It’s just something I know I can do. In romantic relationships, friendships, family bonds…all of these require emotional intelligence, and I always have the “upper hand.” I put this in quotes because I can feel emotions, see the soul of others, but I cannot and do not have the power to change or control what anyone is feeling. When I feel a person I love in intense pain, I want to wrap up the broken parts, I can’t. When I feel anger, I want to disarm it, but I’m usually paralyzed with fear. Other people’s anger is intense and ugly. I rarely feel anger. My empathic abilities make it a difficult thing to create or sustain. It’s hard to be pissed when you understand why someone is doing what they are doing.
Anyone else? Do you get what I’m saying? Are you even out there?