Today, while enjoying the first few minutes of my morning swim, I got hit. Literally, this guy started swimming in my lane, didn’t stay on his side, and hit me in the head. It would have been amusing if it didn’t hurt so damn much.
On my forehead there is a bump. A raised, turning blue knot that isn’t going away. He hit me by accident, but it was so hard that it broke my thumb nail also. The man was apologetic.
“What are you doing?!” I yelled. The other people in the pool looked over.
“It’s my lane,” he stammered. “You were in my lane.” He said nervously.
“No,” I yelled back as I pointed next to me. “You were over there. You were on that side.” I started to walk towards the edge. “You punched me in the face.” He had just swum down the left side. Now he was on the right. How could he think he was on the correct side?
“Look, I’m sorry. I’ll get out,” he replied. He was just as startled as I was. I could feel how badly he felt. I was too angry to care.
“You hit me so hard you broke my nail,” I held my thumb up. I walked out of the pool and left.
I am still not sure how I feel. I feel embarrassed that I yelled at this man, but I am also a bit proud of myself. I didn’t cry. I didn’t try and act like what happened was ok. He didn’t mean to hurt me, but a person needs to be more careful. What the hell was he doing in my lane? Before I would have smiled and tried to make him feel better about what happened. I have always been the queen of taking it on the chin. I would have stayed and continued swimming, wondering what everyone would think if I left even though I would have wanted to leave. I would berate myself for being angry at him at all.
Strangely, as I sit here now, I am not angry. I am just trying to digest what happened and then let it go. It was an accident. I was angry at the time and I showed it. I didn’t focus more on other people’s thoughts than my own and I acted accordingly. I didn’t allow myself to take full responsibility or even any real responsibility at all. I didn’t try and make the other guy feel better while I was hurting. All good things. I think I am growing, but even now, I must admit. I wonder what you are thinking as you read this.