Once long ago, a tarot card reader told me I was an Alchemist in a past life.
“You were very powerful and quite cruel,” she said as she turned another card over and looked at the spread with folded hands.
“What is an Alchemist?” I asked, which is a bit weird because I was less hung up on the cruel part and more concerned about what an Alchemist did.
“An Alchemist was a shaman of sorts and believed that he could turn base metals into gold, the most precious metal of all. Many of them were charlatans, but you were able to do very magical things. This made you mean and cruel, especially to women. You are still paying this karmic debt in this lifetime.” At the time I bowed my head, a bit shamed that now I had even more to regret, more to lament, but now years later I realize that psychics and tarot cards are helpful, but they are only part of the message.
In fact, her telling me I was an Alchemist led me to read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, and the novel changed my perspective about life. It is a story about a shepherd boy who falls in love, and dreams one night of finding a treasure. He decides that he needs to journey out to see the world and find his treasure and then he can marry his true love. He sets out on a boat across the sea. During his travels he runs into many fine people and many ruinous ones. You will have to read the book to find out the ending, but I promise, it is worth it.
The part that I want to highlight today is where a King gives him two stones: Urim and Thummin. The stay in a pouch he carries by his side. When he has a good clear question that requires only a “yes” or “no”, he is told to consult the stones.
One day he is told by an old man that when you want to achieve something, all the Universe conspires to help you achieve it. This fills him with hope, but it is quickly lost as terrible things befall him and he finds himself lost and penniless, so he consults the stones. He asks if that old man’s blessing of the Universe helping him with all his desires is still with him. He took out one of the stones and the answer was “yes”. He put the stone back in his pouch and he asked if he were going to finally find his treasure, and as he stuck his hand back in the pouch, both stones fell out. He remembered what the King had said, “Learn to recognize omens and follow them.” The boy smiled as he picked up the stones and realized that sometimes one must make his own decision and that trust is as important as divination.
I have asked again during my morning meditation for my soul’s path and my greatest passion and again I am met with silence and a gurgling of the word TRUST. I felt fear and anxiety rise in my stomach and chest, but it was met with the word TRUST again. Perhaps the answers we are looking for cannot be given until the time is right. Though the Universe is constantly a co-creator of our desires it determines the timeline and the way things will progress. Maybe my job is to ask for what I want and then sit back. TRUST. TRUST. TRUST