Question of the Day: “How do you stop taking things personally?”

The second agreement by Ruiz is “Don’t take anything personally.”

In this world that feels as if it is on fire, I would like to practice this second agreement. Ruiz describes it as follows:

Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.

Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds…Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators, the black magicians. They can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it up….

Taking things personally has been a way of life for me as long as I can remember. Perhaps because for much of my life, I have wrongfully believed it is all about me. I was raised by parents who believed it was all about them. Society rains down messages about how important I am, and it tells me I can become even more special and important if I do and look a certain way. In the next breath, we are also told our actions affect others. What are we doing that is destroying the environment, holding back others, taking from those in need, living a comfortable life while others suffer? It is always all about us, so it makes sense that when things happen, I take it personally.

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As I write this, my head is swimming with so many examples of how I have taken things personally. Just this morning, my physical and mental reaction to someone’s post on facebook has sent me into a mental spiral. My want and desire to comment on the hurtful and hateful rhetoric she posted is only delayed by this thought: “Don’t take things personally.”

As I shift gears in my thinking, I am reminded of the above. This post was not directed towards me. I remind myself that we all live in our own dream. Everything everyone else does is because of themselves. Her post reflects her reality, not mine. This has nothing to do with me. Any words I add are coming from my dream, and she will not understand them. It is not my job to “wake her up” or “set her straight”. This does not have to be one of my self-agreements.

This is a simple agreement, but the implementation feels so much harder than the first. I feel being impeccable with my words has been an easier transition.

What do you think? Can you stop taking things personally?

Love and light today!!