Spring Renewal, My Birthday, and Forgiveness

Well, the day is starting off strong.

First, I want to wish everyone a happy, healthy, renewing First Day of Spring.

Practically, the First Day of Spring marks the day that the hours of light and dark are equal and balanced.

Spiritually, it is a seasonal time of personal growth and rebirth. After the cold, the Spring Equinox is when significant changes happen and life begins to appear again.

It is also my 45 birthday and I forgave my stepmother.

All of this might feel as if it is happening way too quickly, but

to give you a bit of back story…

Many years ago I forgave my father who was abusive and often thoughtless.

Many years before that I forgave my mother who abandoned me and was often careless.

But my stepmother was a different story. I could not forgive her missteps.

There are many things she did that were hurtful, but I am not going to focus on these things.

How did I get to this step of forgiveness on my 45 birthday and the First Day of Spring?

I’m not sure. She texted me Happy Birthday and it flowed from there. Somewhere, somehow today, I decided I wanted to forgive.

Perhaps it was her reminder that in 1986, she was 26, had my brother who was 13, me who was 10, and Shane who was a newborn.

Perhaps my realization that she was so young carrying so much weight at a job she was completely ill-equipped to handle suddenly made sense.

She lacked the tools, education and support to truly complete the necessary tasks of raising little humans.

We can’t give what we don’t have.

She did give me many things though, many positive things. She guided and supported my education. She taught me how to cook and how creating food and sharing food is a true act of kindness and love.

For these things, I am forever grateful.

She helped forge the person I am today for better or for worse.

As I write this, I can hear the sounds of birds in the trees outside my window. The sun is rising in the east and I can just feel the newness of all things around me.

Perhaps turning 45 is a turning point indeed, another transformation or even a transmutation. The beginning of a renewal and rebirth I have waited for for a lifetime.

Love and Light on this beautiful first day of Spring.