In What Feels Like a World Gone Mad, I’m an Educator.

Going to work has been tough. I love my job. It gives me “the feels” everyday, but I am exhausted and burned out like so many educators. But in this moment of what feels like madness, the Universe has sent me light.

This morning I received a text from my TA. She is going to be out today because her son’s teacher has COVID and he needs to do school virtually. Her son is 14. He has a learning disability. He cannot stay home alone. She needs to call out again to be with him. It is understandable, but it means I cannot run my class. This is not the light.

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The class is multi-dimensional and is a workshop class, which means there are fifteen students all doing various evidence-based remediation for the fifty minutes. It is intense, but it really does transform them as students and helps them to grow into better readers and writers. This, too, is not the light.

This morning I was seriously having a moment where I wondered if I was being “too nice”. The multiple behavior problems in my classroom are just not typical for me. Despite my students often having serious behavioral issues, I have been the “student whisperer.” But maybe, I started to think, maybe I am broken and I am being too nice.

As you know, I have two really tough students in my first period class. They are late every day. They lack motivation. The one does not want to come to school. The other is often defiant and disrespectful.

But today, today there was light. Both students arrived on time. The one was actually was out of breath from running. She was so proud of herself. Both students participated in class and we even had a great talk about Thanksgiving during homeroom.

It was a bright moment when I have only been able to see darkness. It was a soft glow of connection that I really needed to continue. I feel like it was the Universe’s way of reminding me that I am on the right track.

This was also on the copier when I went to pick up my copies this morning:

“These are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will in this crisis, shrink from the service of his country; but he that stands it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman.”- Thomas Paine

Dear readers, This is the light.

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