As I straightened up the kitchen this morning, I started singing Cat Steven’s Father and Son song. It’s such a beautiful song from a son to his father. Though sad, it’s message is clear: the son has learned much from his father, but he feels his father doesn’t understand him. He feels like his father does not truly see him.
When Cole was crying in his crib as a baby, I used to sing this song to him. I had heard it so many times by then, I had easily memorized the lyrics. I would pet his head and cheek and sing, “…just relax, take it slow, you’re still young, that’s your fault, there’s so much you have to go through, take your time, think a lot, think of everything you got because you’ll still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.”
Even at the time, I deeply understood the importance of those words. As a mother, I wanted him to hear those words and think about taking things slowly, but I also saw the great irony in those words being what made the singer feel misunderstood. I have always accepted the fact that my children will not appreciate or even understand the many things I said to them. But there are a few things I would like them to remember when they are older with their own families.
First, I want them to remember our dinners around the table each night while we listen to music I know they like but can’t currently admit it.
Next, I want them to remember feeling warm and excited on Christmas morning. More than any gift received, I want them to reminisce about making sugar cookies and the warm fire.
In addition, I want them to remember our drives to their various camps and classes and sports. These are the times when we talked and discussed important life topics like our dreams and goals and how much we both dislike a particular Spanish teacher (even though we acknowledge she works really hard).
Finally, I want them to remember how much I love them and truly only want the best for them. I hope they finally have an understanding for why I had to create curfews and set up limits on their phones. Maybe they will see why I insisted on bike helmets and reflectors even though they aren’t cool, and why sometimes I could not buy the expensive sneakers and top of the line technology.
Love and Light, my friends. Love and Light 💡