I’ve talked about this before, so please be patient with me if you are tired of my ramblings about teaching, but I think I’ve figured out why it has been so difficult.
It’s an epiphany really. It all started when I read this article for my grad class. Currently, I’m working on my doctorate in Educational Leadership with a concentration in diversity, equity and social justice, so much of the course work really centers on the inadequacies of the public education system. The article “Social Class and the Hidden Curriculum of Work” by Jean Anyon (1980) reveals how public schools compress students. The system requires compliance and discipline. It follows a punitive model for discipline. There is no real room for error. The lower the socio-economic status of the school, the less freedom is given. Creativity is a detriment. Freedom of expression is often squashed. Learning is canned and processed so it is accessible to the masses.
The epiphany I had was my sudden realization of the role I play in this compliance model. I started to think about the ways I curtail my students and stunt their learning.
I will never forget a conversation I had with a student about four years ago. She was doing poorly in school and her mom was grounding her again. She was sad and a bit despondent. I asked if she were okay, and she told me the disheartening story of her science class and her failing grade.
“To be honest, I actually love to learn. I even really enjoy science. I want to become a nurse someday. I just hate school,” she said matter-of-factly.
And that’s it, right? Education-the way to make a kid who loves to learn actually start to hate it.
But this is not where my epiphany ends. No, it goes on much further. Because after reading this article, I realized I was not only perpetuating the system, but I was a product of it. My middle-class education convinced me of the necessity of the bell schedule. It drilled in the idea of rote learning and one-chance assessments. It sold the narrative that learning was done through a worksheet with a sharp number two pencil, and only the teachers had the wisdom and knowledge in those four walls.
I am a perfect product of amenability. And I don’t want to be a part of the system anymore. I want the freedom to enjoy lunch for longer than 20 minutes. I don’t want to be locked in my classroom where I am only able to get 2300 steps a day over the course of eight hours. I am tired of asking permission if I just wanted a cup of coffee from Dunkin’ Donuts. Every day feels more and more like the prisons these buildings were patterned after.
But then I get an email like this…
SIDE NOTE: I said she was “too skilled of a reader” to be in this class, Lol, but who’s counting.
It is when I get notes like this that I start to feel a bit better. It starts to feel like I can actually change something, maybe I am making a small difference.
Either way, it gets me through another day until something else adds up.
Love and Light!! (Especially you teachers out there!)
The Wandering Empath 
Oh my goodness girl, this is a powerful message. 🙏🏼 I am not a teacher, but I have many educators in my family. I have seen evidence of this “caring” and “nurturing” element that sometimes gets lost in the shuffle of teaching. God bless you for your genuine concern and for touching the spirit of the “questions that teachers don’t ask” as depicted so clearly through this email you received from one of your former students.
If it wasn’t for teachers like you, who stop and conduct a self-evaluation of their teaching methods, so many students would continue to fall into that trap of educational hopelessness. I have heard so many say that homeschooling and private schools is the way to go. Sadly, not every family can afford such a privilege. I attended public schools, and if it wasn’t for my teachers who clocked me on my accountability, I would probably fall through the cracks too.
Continue to be that teacher who makes a difference. Obviously this message that your student who took the time to send to you this personalized note, is one of those fortunate recipients. Thank you for that.
Kym
Thank you so much for your comment on my post. I cannot express how much your words mean to me. Comments like yours as well make it a little easier to go into the classroom every day. It’s so true about private school. So many children rely on public schools for their education and it is so important that we keep trying to do our best. I am also glad to hear you had good teachers who looked out for you. It’s so important. Thank you so much!
You are so very welcome and your message really touched my heart. It makes me ask what can I do, even though I am not in the classroom. I respect your dedication my dear. Continue to forge ahead. Your efforts are not in vain. Trust me on that even though it may not seem like it on some days! Stay empowered! 🤗💖😘🦋🤩
So much truth here. By definition society needs to program us as willing obedient workers. In North Korea the State forces everyone to place a TV in their home that must be on at all times. In America, we buy our own. The lucky amongst us find something we love, someone we love, and live prosperous, happy lives. Free Choice or Better Lives Through Programming? Thank you for reminding me to think. 💀🙏
Any time! Thanks for your comment. I think programming in societies comes in many forms as well.
Great post
Thanks!