Question of the Day: “What can you take away from Don Miguel Ruiz’s four agreements?”

Today I am thinking heavily about the third agreement: “Don’t make assumptions.” Ruiz writes that we are living in a dream, and we turn this dream into a nightmare every time we assume what others are thinking or feeling about us. Oh, is this so true for me. My empathic abilities, which always enable me…

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Question of the Day: “What is Kintsugi and why is it important for reflection?”

Kintsugi is the┬áJapanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold, but truly I think it is a metaphor for embracing all flaws and imperfections. Let me explain and simplify with the literal definition of a very complex process of both art and science: Kintsugi is the ancient art of repairing broken pottery…

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Advice to 30 Somethings from a Forty Something

After the past seven years, I am feeling pretty schooled in the ways of the world. In addition, this past COVID year and recent changes in my life have caused me to feel as if I have advice to give. You may be thinking what my qualifications are for giving you advice. Here is my…

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Parenting #101: “The conversational dilemma and arguing with your child”

My two boys are extremely different. Cole is my arguer. If I say…well, just about anything, he will tell me I am wrong. He often asks “why” and try and talk his way out of every directive. It’s exhausting. When it comes to healthy conversations where we could find some connection, he completely shuts down…

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Marriage #101: Can sex get in the way?

Much of what I learned about relationships came from my favorite author Nora Ephron. She was such a brilliant writer, and her ability to understand the complex nature of romantic relationships never ceased to amaze me. The characters in When Harry Met Sally encapsulate the way two people can turn a relationship into a process.…

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Parenting #101: “A portrait of a teenager”

The first known usage of the word teenager was in 1912. Strange to think about really. Only a few years before the start of World War I and decades away from the 1960s, which is the era of the teenager. Baby Boomers marked record numbers of these youngsters and for the first time in history…

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Parenting #101: “It’s all about the controls”

Anyone raising a teenager knows about the power struggles. It reminds me of when I would play tug-of-war in elementary school. Tug, pull, release, drag, one step closer to the line…one step further away. Other days, it can feel more like a seesaw. The other person has just as much control as you do. It…

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Parenting #101: “Still life with teenager”

My teenage son and I are standing in the kitchen. His face is pointed down because he has a tough time making eye contacting with me when we are butting heads. He has returned home from his dad’s and he’s full. I have been informed he will not be joining us for dinner because he…

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Question of the Day: “How do you get more choices?”

Raising a teen is a daunting task, but being a teacher of teenagers has really helped. Over the years, my students have taught me a valuable lesson: the more mistakes you make, the less choices you get. Students who make poor choices over and over again start to lose certain freedoms. They lose the trust…

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Question of the Day: “What’s with all the crazy?”

The word “crazy” gets thrown around our house a lot more than I’d like. Having grown up with a schizophrenic grandmother and a mother who was institutionalized for “further observation”, the word crazy carries a sensitive connotation for me. The word itself is defined as being mentally deranged, manifested in an aggressive way, so it…

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