Traveling the World Through Others
As I straightened up the kitchen this morning, I started singing Cat Steven’s Father and Son song. It’s such a beautiful song from a son to his father. Though sad, it’s message is clear: the son has learned much from his father, but he feels his father doesn’t understand him. He feels like his father…
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My son and I have been running nightly for the last week. He’s much faster than I am, so we walk to our starting spot and then he takes off. I jog casually behind him until he is done. After he runs his distance at his own pace, he turns around to meet me and…
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My husband is my biggest skeptic. He believes I have an uncanny and amazing ability to read people and pick up the often imperceptible thoughts and feelings of others, but he refuses to believe there is anything special about that. “You are incredibly perceptive, Kelly,” he retorts. “But to date, you have not done anything…
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When my husband gets stressed out and tired, he pulls back emotionally. It is severe and quick, and he will often continue this pattern for weeks on end. He doesn’t see it, and when I call his attention to my feeling disconnected, he gets defensive and frustrated. He is always just trying to make me…
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I am an anxious attacher with a strong avoidant streak that appears whenever I think the person I love may not love me. In short, I struggle with healthy relationships. I am both needy and dismissive. Sometimes in the same conversation. My abusive, emotionally distant father and my overly doting mother who abandoned me for…
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I have started a new book. It is called It Didn’t Start with You. At first I found the title intriguing because it reminded me of Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” song, which was really popular growing up. I feel there is a part in all of us that wants to see where…
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Romantic relationships have always been tough for me. When you can feel other people’s emotions and truth, it can often be difficult to remember that emotions are not who the people are at any given time. It is also tough to know boundaries. “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen…
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My friend loved REM. Every mix tape she ever made me had an REM song on it. I have been listening to their songs for the last two days. I feel like somewhere in the lyrics and melody there are answers. “You were a shirt of violent green, uh huh/ I never understood…
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Yesterday signaled the end to my life as a single mom. My boyfriend asked me to be his “forever person” and I gleefully accepted. I am reminded of Dr. Manhattan’s words in the latest installment of The Watchmen on HBO: “In the end? Nothing ends, Adrian. Nothing ever ends.” So much of my life as…
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Currently, I feel as if my life is full of problems. Feelings of fear, sadness, lack of belonging are all swirling around in me. Thoughts contradict themselves in my mind. I have nothing to be sad about. I am fat. My boys are healthy. I should feel happy. Odd memories of much unhappier times keep…
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The Wandering Empath 